I've been looking forward to Thursday all week, and it's finally almost here! I've sent the little people to grandma's, made arrangements for the eldest to get to/from school, and I'm ready for a getaway! The best part is I'll get to see Lisa!

Life is good. Life is good. I'm inspired. The giant hand is reaching down from the sky, pushing me in a new direction again...I feel compelled to oblige. I feel alive again, renewed and recharged. I also feel disconnected, confused and "all over the place." The challenge right now is to be brave and bold and explore new things. I'm going. I'm taking a chance. I wonder what level of happiness I will find myself experiencing? I may come back unchanged, disappointed, sad or feeling guilty. But I might come back feeling stronger, new, ready to DO SOMETHING and take charge of my life again. There is always the feeling that more is around the corner. Maybe someday I'll be satisfied; maybe I'm living an unrealistic fantasy. But it's mine.

Today I'm grateful for: times when things fall into place and choices are made clear and we feel hopeful

I've been thinking a lot lately about women and men and how they respond to relationships. I've always thought that women are much quicker to form an emotional attachment with someone. Recently, though, a friend suggested that men can get emotionally attached very quickly, too. Are women truly more emotional?

Today Fred and I have been married for four years. It's hard to imagine that some people go four years and still don't have children. I wonder what we would have done all that time without the kids to keep us busy? I guess we have four extra "empty nest" years down the road alone to spend as we see fit.

Friday I leave to go to scrapbook weekend. It will be weird not having Cara sitting across from me. I know most of the other women who will be there, but I'll be rooming by myself. Of course, I'm looking forward to the alone time and the swimming visit that Fred and the kids always make to the hotel. But I know myself well enough to say that at 1:00 a.m., I'm going to be lonely in that room by myself. As much as I love time away, I don't like to sleep alone. I truly believe that I'm the product of serial long-term relationships. I'm just used to having someone to cuddle up next to. I am anxious to get to work on the kids' albums, update my nieces' albums, begin our portrait album, continue my vacation album and finish off the kids' baby books, first year albums and first year calendars.

Today I'm grateful for: the card waiting on my bathroom vanity, the long-stemmed yellow roses delivered to the house today, and the babysitter he arranged for tonight so we can go have dinner without rushing- Happy Anniversary, Honey!

Quin is so cute when he runs around without a shirt. He's such a cool, big kid now, you know.

Freddie is so funny- "Mommy, we saw a star in an apple today!" Ahhh, the simple wonders of childhood.

Macy drew tattoos on herself with a green marker. She did the tops of both feet and her cheek. I like to think she's a little more like me everyday!

Life is good. Enough said about that. I had a good day!

Today I'm grateful for: my courage and spontaneous personality.

Be Careful With That Baby's Head!

Today I spent cleaning out the kids' rooms, moving around furniture, tossing junk and secretly putting many of the unnecessary toys in the donation box. It's such a good feeling to know that their rooms are neat, organized and clean. Today's biggest surprise, however, wasn't the dirty pajamas and underwear wedged in the back of the closet or the long-lost Nintendo power cord. I found some books that Quin had taken into his room from the basement bookshelf. The one that caught my eye was "How I Was Born," a real picture book with age-appropriate information regarding pregnancy and childbirth. I asked him about it and he turned bright red. After quickly convincing him that I was glad he found it, we talked about the pictures and the process. His response was "The should really take the legs out first. What happens if they accidentally rip the head off?" (I suppose it was the angle of the baby's head being turned during delivery that elicited his response.) I called his father later to let him know that it might be time for a bit more elaborate "talk." I reminded his father that my school provided a video, discussion and opportunity to buy the "Growing Up and Liking It" packet for all fourth grade girls. I'm sure the boys had something similar done for them. It's strange to think of my baby being old enough now that a girl or two in his class will likely start her period this year. Wow. His dad couldn't believe that some girls actually get their period in fourth grade :)

Today I'm grateful for: the fact that mom always was so "matter-of-fact" about sexuality, because I can talk openly about sex with almost anyone and that's helpful when you have kids

The Awakening

The Awakening by Kate Chopin is one of the few books I've actually read cover to cover in my adult life. In 1899, it was shocking. Today, I think it would be considered normal. I'm going to read it again. The ending never fails to bring me to tears. I'm going through somewhat of the same thing as Mrs. Edna Pontellier. I'm not sure I'll mimic her actions, though. Have I sparked your interest??? Don't worry, it's a quick and easy read.

On a different note: Jewel Osco has reusable grocery bags for $1.00 now! I got five- they are quite big and I'm feeling very proud of myself for making such an effort. With the insulated bag from Whole Foods and now these five canvas Jewel bags, think of all the plastic I'll save!

Tonight I'm grateful for: Kate Chopin, who helps me justify my thoughts without intending to do so

One Sexy Man

Like most families with three young children, our days run together with the "same old routine." We needed that date night last weekend! Isn't he a hottie?!

Autumn Approaches

Autumn is on it's way. I can almost smell the air and hear leaves rustling in the wind. So many people I know are energized by springtime and the promise of warmer weather. The only things that gets me through hazy summer days are thoughts of apples, pumpkins, bonfires, warm jackets and wind blowing all around me. Today I want to clean my whole house and drag out my fall decorations. Here's to autumn! Let's mix up a batch of hot cocoa, break out the fleece jackets and flannel sheets, go to Wisconsin to visit the apple orchards and put some pumpkins on the front porch. Hurry, cooler weather. Hurry, fall.

Today I am grateful for: the many wonderful times we've spent at the cabin in Wisconsin, the family memories yet to be made and my parents for the hard work they've done to make it such a cozy place to go to relax and reconnect with each other

Untitled

I don't like having to come up with titles. It seems like a chore. I'm not going to use them anymore. Enough said.

I've been unusually busy the past few days. Freddie started preschool and speech this week. I finally took Macy to her pediatrician to figure out what's making her feel so icky. Turns out it's her ears again. I don't want to give her antibiotics, but I really should help her out. Her allergies are going crazy (as are Freddie and Quin's.) The *good* things are that she has an appointment in a couple of weeks for a hearing test and consultation to schedule ear tube surgery, and our visit to the ped opthamalogist went well- her "wandering" eye doesn't require a patch or glasses at this time. My children are on-going medical challenges. I wonder what it's like to have children that have perfectly shaped ear canals, no allergies, no chemical imbalances, no constipation and can eat anything they want without getting eczema.

Did I mention that the day I get my act together, we're going to find a chiropracter close enough to us that I can commit to going 3-5 days a week for quick adjustments? We need Dr. Jeff. Most of the above were under control or gone when we were seeing him. I wish his office was closer. His method worked perfectly for us. Start going to him 5 days a week for adjustments, get re-checked a month later, maybe drop to 3 days a week, re-check again and eventually see him 1 or 2 days a week. We were in and out in 15 minutes. He charged us a low weekly fee. It was the perfect. We all felt better and I wish I could find a "Dr. Jeff" near home. In my spare time...

Fred left today for a golf trip with his dad in Michigan. I'm torn between feeling like I have some alone time and feeling overwhelmed by having the kids by myself 24/7 until Sunday morning. I actually scheduled a babysitter for Friday night for a few hours. What shall I do???

Fred and I went to Projekt Revolution, a sort of "Lollapalooza" event hosted by Linkin Park at the former Tweeter Center. It was good, juvenile fun. We and some friends ate and drank in one of the sky boxes. I fell asleep on the couch when we got home Saturday night and didn't get up until Monday morning. Yep, I was sick, sick, sick. Why is it that every couple of years I forget that I'm not a hard-partying rock star anymore? Fred was gracious enough to care for the kids all day, take them out of the house to allow me to sleep and watch Lifetime and the Travel Channel all day. He wasn't however, kind enough to remind me that after finishing the entire bottle of cabernet, it's not a good idea to throw back a couple of shots of vodka, a Mike's Hard Lemonade and several Red Bull/vodkas. Geesh, just the thought of it makes me want to cringe!

I need to post more kid pics on here. Maybe next time.

Tonight I'm grateful for: having the bed all to myself tonight- at least until Macy wakes up and doesn't feel good and needs Mama